I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
