that's an acceptable place to lick
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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