ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
