drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize