and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
