she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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