She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
