The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
