Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
