I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
