Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Randomize
