The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can tuck mytits in my pants
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
