Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
