he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
