I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
