beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
