I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
