what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
