I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
