He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
