I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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