Your dad touched me again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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