I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
