Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
