i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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