Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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