Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
