Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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