Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
