One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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