he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize