ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
