so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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