No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize