Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
FUCK WHALES
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
