The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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