Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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