just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
