He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
