Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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