Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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