Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
