Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
