you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
