my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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