he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
