literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
