all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize