Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
