when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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