Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
