you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
