you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
