end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
