get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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