a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
