Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
