Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
