i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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