if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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