I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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