Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
