Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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