did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
