If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
