dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
